This week my fiance and I passed a milestone. It is now less than 50 days till our wedding day.
April will mark the beginning of our married life together, and more personally, my last weeks as an Orozco.
I should mention, Emmett and I have been together for several years. In fact, our wedding day will make six. We have lived together for nearly five of those years. We have shared our desires, fears, hopes and our worst days.
We have also shared countless laughs, drinks, meals, travels, a bed, clothes, and a toothbrush on occasion...
One thing we haven't shared is a name.
Now that we are "making it official" I have a decision to make. What becomes of my name?
Several months ago I thought I would just hyphenate and, in fact, heard predictions from friends that I'm probably a "hyphenator." In the past week or so, I have had trouble committing to it. It sounds so egalitarian. It's too politically correct. So modern. Unromantic.
That's when I began to explore my other options. What if I didn't change my name at all? After all, my husband isn't changing his. My name is fiercely Spanish. Marta Cecilia Orozco. It's well-rounded. It evokes worldliness. It's feminine but not childish. It looks great on my degree and my business cards. I am proud to carry it. But then, keeping it seems petulant; I'm just lashing against patriarchy and a marriage shouldn't begin that way. My husband is a man, but he isn't The Man.
Then, of course, there's the most popular and traditional choice. Just taking his name would make me Marta Cecilia Fikus. It would simultaneously shed my heritage and, ironically, make mine the most Polish sounding name since Emmett's grandparents' who emigrated from Poland in WWII. Fikus is a rare name, and knowing Emmett and his brothers the way I do, I would be honored to be a member of that club. As one brother puts it, the more Fikus in the world, the better. But, I have to say, I wouldn't agree the less Orozco in the world, the better.
There have been other avenues of discussion- changing my middle name, dropping my middle name; dear Emmett even volunteered to hyphenate to match my preference. In the end, I must remember that no person has ever preserved their identity or their heritage through their name alone. We are more than what we are called, and I'm not likely going to stop being a proud Mestiza woman because my name sounds like I came from the Old World. Just like becoming a wife won't cause me to eschew my burgeoning herbalism practice. The same way joining another (awesome) band of brothers doesn't weaken my relationship with my brothers.
So, perhaps my confusion kicked in because I resent being predictable but my choice has been made. I'm simply going to add that beautiful, unique, Polish surname to my own beautiful, unique, Spanish surname. The sound they make together just works.
Orozco-Fikus
It's us. It tells our story. It mirrors the union we are making- two becoming one.
